84km steps of faith

It was 72 hours before the ultra-marathon. My ankle was swollen badly. I knew I couldn’t be stuborn anymore. I needed to see doctor to have the peace of mind to run. The doctor did a scan and confirmed it's an anterior ankle impingement. I told him I started to feel the pain when I was at my final stage of training (over 50km back-to-back training). He knew I wouldn’t give up my race and he recommended non stroidal anti-inflammatory jabs to subside the swell. So, I had 12 tiny pokes on my left ankle.

Then, it was less than 9 hours to the ultra-marathon. I woke up at about 8am. I had a heavy breakfast and wanted to go back to sleep but my body wasn’t co-operative. I decided to go for a stroll by the beach. It was a very warm morning. No sea breeze. The distance markers were up. I felt panicked looking at them. I made an U-turn and went home.

I tried to sleep but not successful. I would doze off for a few minutes and eyes opened again. At 12 noon, I took ham and cheese sandwich which Aunt Mary made for me. I felt full and bloated. I went back to my bed and tried to sleep again. I managed to sleep for half an hour. It was close to 3pm, Ronnie called me. He asked me why was I still at home. I almost jumped out of the bed!! Then he said he was kidding me. I packed my lunch. It was full load of carbo.

At 4.20pm, I met Wee to pass him my stuff. He assured me that I would be fine and walked me to get a taxi. My long journey was about to begin. I chatted with the taxi uncle. He used to be a runner. He encouraged me and was amazed by my courage to attempt 84km. He asked me what went through my mind when I was running? I told him there were moments of blank picture as well as picture perfect. I just let my mind drifted and it was a distraction from feeling tired.

I went straight to the pit stop. I dropped my bags and swallowed the awful gel and red bull. Met Robson and he looked ready to fly. I walked around and saw a couple of friends, David Shum, Melvin, PS & Alber. A lady competitor from overseas did her warm up in the middle of the field. Runners started to flow in. It was 15 minutes to the kick off. Alber, Robson, Mika marched to the start line. I finally saw Rachel. We were like twin sisters. We wore almost the same attire. Jeanette and Adrian shared a few words on the stage and it was show time!

Mika started slow so I aimed to stay close to her. Good runners are different league afterall. I lost her before we were out at the coastal. I thought we would be running on the cycling track but we were directed to run on the road. I wasn't sure if I was too slow or were they too fast? I was overtaken by many runners. In about 20 minutes, all of us spread out. I thought my pace was good for the ultra-marathon (neither too fast nor too slow). Strangely, there wasn’t anyone with me. I targeted to reach the bbq pit by 1 hour 30 minutes. A man used me as a pacer. I drank, he stopped. I ran, he followed. I skipped the 16km water station. Finally, I heard ‘jacque jacq’. I saw Wee, Boon Keong and Ansley. I took my first packet of gel and ran off. On my way towards Fort road, I looked out for familiar faces on the other side of the lane. I could gauge how slow I was. I saw Alan first, then Robson, Jeanette and Mika. I was about 2km behind Mika. I tried to close the gap but the gap was just too big. I picked up my speed and ran. KK called out to me. He was an hour late for the race. I kept running. Happy to see Wee Wee kopitiam again. Ok, I was heading back to the coastal.

I started to slow down. Humid and little wind. I trained on the coastal so it wasn’t too bad for me. I switched off and ran. Turning into the Changi exhibition hall, I saw a few ultra-marathoners were running their 2nd loop already. To be honest, I was demoralized. The stretch looked far and long. At 40km, I saw Mika was out already. Then at 41km, a guy (Rachel’s friend) thought that I was her. I made a left turn and back to the pit stop.

I remember the ultra-marathoners didn’t stay so long at the pit stop last year. There were so many of them were STILL at the pit stop when I left for my 2nd loop. I saw Melvin. He told me he wanted to give up and it was a painful race. After he refueled himself, he left. I took my 3rd packet of gel and red bull. As I was walking out, a lady said to me, "You’re amazing, girl". I smiled and left for my 2nd loop.

There was hardly anyone on our side of the road. Participants for 21km were on the other side of the road. I kept thinking I should stop and walk but actually my legs were still fine so I ran. Between coastal and ECP, it was a painful stretch. There wasn’t any marshal. Quiet. I kept telling myself, Wee and guys were just 6km away, I would make it there and rest a little bit. I was much slower now. My ankle started to act up and the pain went around my legs. When I was at the Sea Sports centre, Robson was already on his way back to the coastal! Ok I re-assured myself not to be panicked and I segmented the run. After OBS, it would be F2 carpark, then lagoon and I would be at the barbeque pit no.39. I heard Wee! He passed me my sandwich and I had milo. Ansley and Boon Keong walked with me for a short distance. After the toilet, I ran off. At MacDonald, Wee passed me Slurpee. It was so cooling and simply ‘heaven’!

After my U-turn at Fort road, a lot of friends called out to me but could not see their faces. Thanks for your cheers! Brian paced me for a while. He came in at the right spot. I was tired and needed some distractions. We had a nice chat and I continued. Helen saw me and she gave me drink and watermelon so I didn’t stop at Wee Wee kopitiam. At the Sea Sports centre, my legs were very tired. I saw a familiar face and it was Charles. We paced each other. I followed him with 5 minutes run and 1 minute walk for a while and I continued to run. My footsteps were heavier and heavier. I tried not to count the distance when I saw 33km. I kept running.

At 75km, I started to feel giddy. Perhaps it was due to the pounding, I told God not to abandon me here. I had only 9km more to go. Benjamin tapped on my shoulder at about 77km. He ran and walked with me. Thank God for Benjamin. It was painful stage for me. I cried and told him, “Ben, even I’m much slower, I’m still a winner, right?” I knew I was much slower than last year’s timing but I also knew I must finish the race. In my last few kilometers, I told myself, “JacQ, you’re good for nothing. You must finish the 84km” so I pushed myself. Trust me, from 82km to 83km felt like 10km!

Finally, after the left turn and Benjamin asked me to go ahead. I ran and crossed the finishing line. Yay! I made it! I’m 2nd time ultra-marathoner :)

"If you give up on your legs, you won't go anywhere. If your trust your legs, they bring you to your finishing line."

I thank God, my family, good friends (Wee, Ansley and Boon Keong who helped me to prepare for this race in the past months) and many of you who encouraged me. Last but not least, they are legally mine, my legs cum my most faithful buddies!

Gels: 6 packets of Powergels
Food: 1/4 energy milo bar, about a slice of bread, grapes and watermelon
Drink: Lots of 100 plus, water, slurpee, milo and red bull