We were in a room full of sickly looking patients. Most of them had short hair, stick-thin. A Malay couple chatted with us. At about 10am, Dr Shafiq saw me. He read my reports. He asked me a few questions and explained my diagnosis to me. First thing first, he said we would need to identify our 'target'. He told me I needed not have to worry about pituitary growth because it is not harmful to me at this stage. I just have to do yearly MRI to make sure the growth doesn't worsen. He came to the tumour behind my nose. He confirmed my headache is not related to the cancer. He is more concerned about my lymph nodes. However, he checked and confirmed there was no obvious swelling yet.
I kept asking him about the 'stage' or seriousness of my condition. He didn't give me a direct answer. He said his preliminary recommendation would likely be radiotherapy and perhaps chemo later on. I might not need to start off with aggressive chemo therapy unless the cancer cells have invaded to other parts of my body. He needed me to do another CT scan, see ENT and a dental check. The overall feeling of the visit was positive.
Honestly I don't know if Dr Shafiq hide anything from me. Perhaps as an oncologist he knows the most effective way to cure a cancer patient is not medication or treatment but positivity. I don't know if he didn't give me 100% answers was he didn't want me to think negative or whatever. He told me to cure a cancer patient is not how fast he/she is treated but treat with the correct therapy (unless the tumour is bulky). On my way home, I thought about it. Actually it doesn't matter what stage I'm at because I want to be well.
I saw more comforted looks on my parents' faces. My brother sighed a relief and quietly listened to Dr Shafiq. I know my next step is to trust my doctor.
I don't make grand plan but I must have the faith that I'm in good hands.
1 notes by reader:
jia you .. !! .. :)
~jacky~
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