C2D8

I completed cycle 2 today. One more cycle (2 sessions of chemo) to go. I wasn't very hopeful this morning. I waited for Dr Hj Syafiq for an hour. One good news was I gained 1kg. I'm now 43.9kg. I've reached the point I wanted to quit. Into Your merciful hands and gracious plan I commit, Lord. 




I went to see Dr Hj Syafiq alone. He looked at me and said, "It's still low. My white blood count was 1.4 and it has gone up to 2.1 only". He said he could allow me to proceed with chemo but I would need Neupogen again next week. My chemo dosage is now reduced by 25%, Cisplatin 51ml and Gemzar 1000ml. I saw the funny side of Dr Hj Syafiq this morning. "I want you to get this out of the way. Finish off the last cycle. Argh". I wanted to raise both hands and shout "Darn cancer! You bet, Doc" but I maintained my cool and smiled widely, "You know I can't wait for this to end". Perhaps he could see my struggles, tiredness and frustrations. He felt like a friend to me. Thank you, Dr Hj Syafiq and of course one most important ONE, thank you God.

I had an auntie besides me today. She's Mama's old friend. She chatted with me. Time passed quicker. Shanti came to chat with me for a while too. She said my puffy face is due to the anti-nausea drugs as they have steroid. Hopefully the puffiness would disappear after chemo.

The nurses were so sweet. They told me the new look suited me. I made it cool with hippy earrings. I shared with them I had a nose stud before. I've always like and proud of my nose stud. GiaYee reminded me what I said about my nose stud before. "Be it I look good with nose stud or not, I will make it look unique and it's me". She said I should have the same attitude towards my new look. Yes *big grin* Thank you, babe!

Honestly, I miss you, JacQueline and the nose stud. Where have you gone to? Everyone told me 'a while more', ok I will wait. I want to have JacQueline back but I may have to let go of nose stud forever.